A Little Intro

My name is Sascha and I want to be a writer. The problem is I don't get around to doing much writing. I love reading and I think that is why I want to be a writer. I want to create something as profound as the literature I read in college. I don't know why I have a draw to do it, but I do. I think it is kind of because I put authors on a pedestal. I worship them in a weird way. I do this with all artists actually. Whether they are writers, painters, actors. People who have mastered their craft, I always end up wanting to be them.  Part of me wonders whether I idolize them because they are famous and received international acclaim, or if it is because they have such an intense passion for their trade. No matter the criticism, no matter the heartbreak or hard work, those artists have found a sun to orbit around. My life has no sun, no central guiding light that I jump out of bed for every morning, and I think I envy artists for having that. I am 22 years old, recently post-grad, with no direction in life. I know it sounds like a sob story, like I'm complaining that I'm the only one in my generation to experience this, but the aimless wanderings of my everyday are rather depressing. 

So I think I'll start a blog. 

A blog about what you ask? About whatever the hell I want. Its direction will change from day to day I'm sure. But with me about to move to my grandmothers for a few months to clear my head, focus on "writing," and make some money, I want to have something to show for my time of isolation in Northern Michigan. Because to be honest, I don't think my writing is going to amount to much, and if I hope to get hired one day for anything, maybe keeping a blog with semi-consistent posts will give me an edge.  Maybe it will show that I am dependable, or organized, or persistent, or some other bullshit virtuous word people use to describe applicants. 

So a bit about me: I like green tea and drawing buildings with Sharpies. I like the idea of learning to cook. I love to travel though I have only been to a few countries in Europe. I want to go to Istanbul in Turkey one day soon, even though I am a bit scared of the safety precautions. I think I might have ADD. I love to read but what I'm reading right now, "The Invisible Man," by H.G. Wells kind of bores me. I'm trying to learn French cooking,  how to speak French, and how to play the guitar as part of my New Year's Resolutions, even though I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. I am trying to write a story about my grandma in a Eudora-Welty-Style but it is not going very well. I need to study for the GRE and get a score that will get me into a good graduate school because where I did my undergrad is nothing to brag about. I wish I was more fashionable. I am having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I am rather plain looking. I just realized today while watching "Sex and the City," that I am Miranda, even though I have always wanted to be Samantha. I had admitted to myself that Samantha was a bit far-fetched for me, so I settled with being Carrie, but my revelation today made me realize that I am a cold, cynical bitch, and I will probably continue scaring men away for the rest of my life. I wish I could fall in love, but never have. I might be allergic to ibuprofen.

I don't know what I want to get from this blog. Perhaps a sense of self? I have always kept a journal which hasn't helped me much and I don't see how a blog is much different, but maybe it is. Maybe it will give me the kick in the butt I need. 

So what shall I call you? And what should I focus on? Because now that I think of it, if this blog is to have any meaning, and if I am to gain anything from doing this, I should have some sort of focus.

Should it be writing? Should it be the enduring state of my singleness? I surprisingly have a bag full of stories that exhibit my many defense mechanisms. 

Perhaps both? 

I will include events of my day to day life, my writing and advancements I am making with it, and observations that I make about people and situations.

The latter part I think will be the most interesting because I will soon be moving in with my dear grandmama in a semi-northern Michigan town that is known for absolutely nothing. Except for Tony's Tacos, a pit-stop that people passing through the town infamously stop for. I think the pool of people in the area will be interesting to observe. It is a group of people I have had very little contact with. Being from a very liberal college town, it is always a bit of a culture shock when I visit my grandmother and am surrounded by people with poor grammar but incredible hunting skills. 

So now that my focus for this blog is all the more ambiguous, I need a title, and few concrete goals to achieve during my time in hick-ville. 

"Untitled: the Wanderings of a Post-Grad"?

"Undefined"?

"Not Yet Declared a Major in Life"?

"Undecided"?