A Necessary Move

I am moving to my Grandmother's next week. I have to. I am wasting away here.  The past four weeks have all smooshed together. It flew by and I have almost nothing to show for it. With no structure in my life, I got absolutely nothing done. I have learned a total of two chords on my guitar, got as far as "see you later," in French, and have made meager attempts at cooking a recipe from my French cookbook. You want to know why my writing isn't going so well? It's because I haven't given it a true, concerted effort. 

I wake up every morning, practice guitar for a little bit, eat breakfast, read magazines or articles online, watch Sex and the City from 1-3 and then putz around the rest of the day. On a good day I take my dog on a walk.

I have absolutely no excuse for not having a rough draft done for a short story. I have no excuse for my atrophying muscles and flabby body. If 40 year old Sarah Jessica Parker can have a toned body, little old me with nothing to do all day should too. I haven't even opened my GRE study book and I should be able to say a paragraph or hold an introductory conversation in French. 

I am going stir-crazy here and becoming increasingly restless. My one paltry attempt at cooking something Julia Child-esq resulted in a temper tantrum over the phone with my mom when she informed me that I started the process too late and my plans would not be fruitful until too late in the night to eat it.

I hate cooking. I never want to cook. Why I wanted a cookbook for Christmas is beyond me. The only thing I'm good at making are eggs and ramen noodles. Reading a recipe is near-impossible. The words, and tools, and techniques necessary all require culinary training. Without a proper introduction, my wasted efforts are frustrating. 

Why must everything be so difficult? Why does everything I try seem so out of reach? 

I am hoping that a change of scenery will uplift my dreary outlook, but for a more realistic and long-term change, I need a change of attitude. I need to be more disciplined. I need to make a schedule and stick to it.  I need to hold myself to a higher standard. I need to be more of a Go-Getter, have a more Type A personality. 

There are a few things I need to get in order before I make my departure, aka: I need to pack.

I absolutely need my writing desk. How am I supposed to write without a writing desk? My guitar and guitar books. My French lessons. Some art supplies. My camera. My printer. Books. Tons and tons of books. My French cookbook (I'll give it another go). GRE study materials, and I need to buy some notebooks to use for writing, French, and for studying the GRE. I also need some good pens for writing. There is nothing I hate more than writing down a story idea with a cheap Bic pen.